Here's the issue. Well, let me back up. I don't know how many people are reading this. But, for the few who may be, I'm certain you're bored checking in every week and finding that one of the authors is nowhere to be found.
My wife explains it away: "You're just taking a sabbattical," she says. "Oh yeah," I say. "Because I'm like a professional blogger whose opinions people actually care about." "Thanks, Babe," I say, "You're the best."
Yeah, way to go, honey, for encouraging mediocrity. Let's face it; I'm lazy. I don't dispute it. If I had my way, I'd find a way to make my cell phone cook me maccaroni and cheese; my phone could also double as a remote control. After all, I'm too lazy to reach over to the coffee table and grab the actual remote. But, I'm sure none of this surprises any of you. After all, you're well aware of my unreliability in making a lame blog post even once a week.
But here's the point. You see, there comes a time in a man's life--yes, even a short man--when he either needs to make use of the john or get off. What I don't want is my blogging experience to be a reflection, so to speak, of my parenting skills.
After all, if I'm unable to get my butt (which, by the way, is not all that wide yet) off the couch and spin a yarn or two about my pregnant wife (whose "butt", by the way is not all that wide either--she seems to carry the baby in a big basketball looking thing right above her waste--but I digress), how can I expect myself to wake up in the middle of the night and feed a crying baby?
Don't you worry, though. I've devised a way.... My cell phone will cook for me and the baby.
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