Baby Beluga

A few things that are certain during pregnancy are that 1) you will have a baby at the end of it, 2) it’s different for everyone, and 3) you will gain weight. Now, gaining weight is a natural and healthy thing that is suppose to happen during pregnancy. Considering the baby weighs a couple of pounds, the fluids weigh a couple of pounds, you chest get’s larger, and you have twice the amount of blood in your body, there’s really no way to avoid gaining a certain amount. Now, it’s not the numbers that bother me. I’ve never been one to watch my weight or give a damn about what I eat, because I feel like I eat a relatively balanced diet anyhow, and although I’m no Kate Moss (at 5’3” there’s really no hope of super-model status), compared to average people, I’m relatively thin (thanks mom for good genetics). In fact, when I was a child, my mom made up this rule that when everybody else was gone from the table, and all the other dishes were cleared, I had to stop eating and give her my dishes to be washed! Today, my co-workers are always amazed at my hearty lunches of leftovers as they nibble their salads and Lean Cuisines. And truly, I’ve gained the textbook amount of pregnancy weight so far (Before anyone starts feeling jealous or vengeful, I’ve got some other pregnancy symptoms that are too embarrassing to write about, that truly make up for it!)

So, no, it’s not the numbers on the scale that bother me…It’s this odd shape my body has morphed into. Seriously, a co-worker commented that it looks like I’m hiding a basket-ball under my shirt! Which I guess is an upgrade from the volleyball she said I was hiding a few weeks ago (I wonder if she ever taught PE). Yup, a good 90% of the weight I’ve gained is all up front, between my neck and my thighs. From the back, one would hardly know I’m pregnant, but when I go to make a turn, watch out!!! This odd proportioning of my weight gain, has caused me to “grow” out of all of the maternity clothing I bought early on. Who knew a person’s belly could get sooooooo big that even maternity clothing doesn’t fit! I followed all of the guides that said to buy your regular size, because maternity clothing is suppose to allow for ones growing chest and belly. But, now I’ve not only packed away my regular clothing, but also an entire wardrobe of “maternity” clothing! What a racket! So, up a size I went, and at this pace, it will likely go up again.

If you’ve ever seen a beluga whale, you know that they have this funny looking, huge lump of fat on their heads called a “melon”. Well, my belly looks just like a beluga melon. Which is why when I go to the gym to swim—which is the only exercise I can do now, because anything upright makes me have to pee, and we pay for a gym membership, so I feel I have to use it—I can’t get the Baby Beluga song out of my head! I’ve been looking for a better maternity swim suit, which could be a blog unto itself, and thinking how appropriate it would be to get a white one and start making whale noises while in the pool. Since they probably don’t make maternity sized straight jackets, I won’t do that. But, for those of you who don’t have small children and who don’t work in a preschool, here is an excerpt from my new theme song by Raffi, “Baby Beluga”.

Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea, Swim so wild and you swim so free. Heaven above and the sea below, And a little white whale on the go. You're just a little white whale on the go.

Baby beluga, baby Beluga, is the water warm? Is your mama home with you, so happy.
-By Raffi and Debi Pike