I Am a Mammal...

The jury is back, and just in case any of you were wondering, I am indeed…a mammal…This little insight was imparted to me by one of the middle school students I work with (did I mention I work with special education students?). It really was endearing, as she is the first of my students to realize I’m pregnant and not just strangely bloated. She first asked if I was going to have a baby, and when I replied that I was she matter of factly told me, “that means you’re a mammal!” This can only mean that the class of those of you who are childless remains in question. Just to make sure, she then asked her teacher if I was indeed a mammal. Neither her teacher, nor I, dared further the conversation by explaining what actually differentiates a mammal from other classes of animal. Body functions, on any level, are a topic to be avoided at all cost when dealing with middle school students.

I, however, now find body functions quite fascinating and have spent the better part of the day researching ways to contain my future baby’s primary bodily function—yes, I’m talking about poop. The tree hugger in me (which quite frankly is more of a tree patter or tree admirer most of the time) was curious about cloth diapers. I was quickly barraged by a slew of web pages and diaper styles. Who knew that while scientists were trying to cure cancer and other fatal illnesses, diaper technology was progressing by leaps and bounds? Apparently, there are cloth diapers now that look and function just like disposables. The only difference is about $17 per diaper and the fact you have to wash the cloth ones. Word on the web is that although the cost of these gold lined bottom wrappers is rather extreme up front, thousands are saved in the long run. If we end up with more than one child, the savings more than double! Now, I may not be embracing evergreens as I hike through the forest, but I do have a bit of an obsession with bargains. No bargain, however, would be worth dealing with unnecessary leakage, seepage, or any other “age”.

But, these things apparently work as well, if not better than disposables (this information is from actual moms, not just the diaper manufactures). So, why not use these things? I have no idea! The only thing I can think of is the thought of my mom rinsing out the old towel looking diapers in the toilet. I would have to put my foot down at actually hand washing poo away multiple times a day. I say change the diaper and get out of there—do not linger around the poo any longer than necessary. Or maybe it’s the idea of hauling around dirty diapers in your bag when you go out. But, low and behold these issues have been worked out, too. So again, why can one only buy these things online, and why are they not more mainstream? It must be “big diapers” (a close partner of big oil). Maybe that’s what truly separates us from other mammals—the thought, care, and research we put into poo.