Some Protector I am...

At the risk of sounding like a bigot, I've always believed part of the role of the man in a marriage is to protect his wife. Furthermore, having been married, now, to my wife for over six years, I find that she seems to agree that this is my role.

To be sure, it's never, actually, been spoken. Indeed, this is a sort of an unspoken, understood role I have. I believe this because my wife has indicated to me that she does not sleep well when I'm not home. At times when I go away for a weekend, she claims she gets very anxious. And, while I don't like being away from my wife for periods of time, I've never been apprehensive when I'm home alone at night.

Of course, the conclusion I draw from this is that she believes it is my role to protect her. But, here's the problem: I suck at protecting her. Moreover, when I add up my traits and attributes, big and strong are nowhere to be found. Indeed, were a burglar or a "masher" [to use a phrase from the 50's] to happen upon our home, I'm pretty sure I'd hide in the back and tell my wife to look into it for me. Perhaps I'm being a little modest; or perhaps not. But, being 5 foot nothing doesn't bode well when trying to appear fierce.

However, while big and strong would not be on the list, I generally see myself as still having all my marbles. Not to say that that would come in handy in any way when defending myself physically. But, perhaps I could bore the burglar to death by talking about politics.

With that said, I come now to this morning as I was leaving for work. Usually, I come in and drop all my essentials in a tray, including car keys, wallet and house keys. But apparently last night, I forgot to put all the keys in the tray. What's more, I didn't even realize this until I stepped outside and heard a jingle in the door. So, I looked down to see I'd left those same keys hanging in the door.

To make matters worse--or more idiotic--I locked the door as I came in. That's like locking a door on a convertible with the top down. Anyways, here I am wondering where my mind is going. But I'm not too worried.

After all, even if I can't pass on a good brain to my child, at least he or she will get my dashing good.... knees.